Last year my husband and I were having some growing pains in our marriage, particularly in the area of communication. Problem was we couldn’t talk if no one went first.
I wrote him a letter about some changes I hoped to see (please don’t jump to the worst possible scenario). There are some renovations and repairs in our home that need to be taken care of that would make life a little easier.
As I was writing the letter, in an emotional state I might add, the idea of an ultimatum came to mind. But then I knew that I couldn’t do that, that I wouldn’t do that.
There is a difference in the words ‘can’t’ and ‘won’t’. One implies powerlessness, and the other strength.
There is no room for ultimatums in our marriages, not because we are powerless and can’t give one, but because we have the power to build up our marriages and NOT give one.
So, whatever it is you’re struggling with in your marriage, don’t give an ultimatum. Not because you can’t but because you won’t.