Thursday night my past and my present collided and I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it.

As I stood next to my husband in conversation with others, I almost lost it. Hysterical laughter was pushing its way out and I had to do everything in my power to push it back.

Le me set the stage. Adam and I had been on our 13th Anniversary ‘stay-cation’ and decided to end our evening at a craft-beer establishment. We weren’t sure what we’d find – a coffee-shop like atmosphere or a seedy bar. We walked through the door and to my pleasant surprise there were picnic tables, board games, and shuffle board. None of which screamed ‘Run for the Hills!’.

We looked to our right, and who should we see but our very own Pastor of Community Connection and a local church planter. As we shook hands and introductions were made, my mind was reeling. Our pastor even introduced us to one of the employees and said that he’d visited our church the prior Sunday.

Lord, how do I reconcile all this?

First, how do I reconcile a pastor being in a craft-beer joint? Which leads me to the second question,  is it okay for us to be there?

But if it’s not okay for him, why is it okay for us?

And now you’ve peeked at the paradox that my brain has been stuck in and it isn’t very pretty.

Now I’m wondering if this is what the Pharisees sounded like when they bad-mouthed Jesus for associating with tax collectors and sinners.

Whose side would I have been standing on?

My mind goes back to the employee that our pastor introduced us to. Who would have invited him to church if he hadn’t gone there?

Now, I’m not saying we should all run down to the nearest dance club or pick-up bar to witness. I’m not even saying that we shouldn’t.  We need to use discernment as to where we go. But for all practical purposes, we couldn’t find anything wrong with that establishment.

What I am saying is, my husband and I would never have met Matt had we not gone there and been introduced to him by our Pastor.

I’m 35, been raised in church, and am still such a novice when it comes to reaching the lost.

Reaching the lost isn’t about supporting missionaries, going ‘door-knocking’ or having a bus ministry.

Slowly, God is teaching me that it’s about loving those around you and sharing the Gospel on a daily basis wherever you are.

Turning 30 is big. Really BIG. It can be scary because you’re saying goodbye to your twenties. You have to officially grow up.

For my 30th birthday, 5 years ago, I decided to look forward and to not mourn my twenties. My 3rd decade was going to be my best yet. It was going to be the decade that I found out who I really was and who God made me to be. So I decided to start it off with a piercing and another baby.

5 years in and the decade is half over. I’m turning 35 and there are no regrets. God  has used these last several years to reveal the passions and talents He’s instilled in me.

One of these passions is helping those who have been enslaved in various forms and fashions. In the past year I’ve found out about a ministry whose mission is the restoration and rehabilitation of exploited men and women.

I’m pleased to introduce to you, Sak Saum. They are in Phnom Penh and the Saang district of Cambodia. Everyday they help the men and women of their community build a new life. Through their Vocational Training Center they’re offering job opportunities and fair trade wages – things we often take for granted.

If you haven’t visited the Sak Saum website yet, don’t wait any longer. You’ll get to ‘meet’ the men and women who make up Sak Saum, and I hope that your heart will be touched as much as mine has. You’ll also get to see their beautiful line of bags and purses. I love their products!  As well as some amazing accessories (infinity scarves and hammered jewelry) and even some baby items.

Will you join me in the fight against human trafficking by supporting Sak Saum?

We can volunteer, raise support, and most importantly – pray. This is Kingdom work and we get to be a part of it!

And for my birthday, I’ve decided to give you all a little something – a couple of little somethings from Sak Saum.

First is the New York Tote Scarf and the second is the For Freedom Bracelet. Just enter the giveaway to win.

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 What if God-sized dreams aren’t big at all?

What if these ‘big’ dreams don’t include going to Cambodia?

What if my God-sized dream isn’t really about me?

What if this dream is one God has for me instead of me having it for me?

What if this Dream is simply to love my neighbor?

And, what if, that dream ends up being a loaf of bread to the woman down the street              who’s lost her job?

Maybe, before we can get a hold of our dreams, we have to get a hold of the Dream that God has for us.

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are both approaching quickly which means thoughts of gifts for respective parents and spouses. This afternoon Mr. C wanted me to take a picture of him and his siblings out by the tree in the backyard. We had done this last year for Father’s Day and plan to do it again this year. After the picture was taken Miss E wanted me to do handprints again as well – another part of last year’s Father’s Day gift. Paint is not part of the plan for this afternoon, so the answer was ‘no’. My seven year old asked me what we would do then for Mother’s Day and what I wanted. That got me to thinking, because I don’t really know. But the more I thought the more I realize that I want two very different days.

The first day would be spent in solitude, whiling away the time at a coffee shop and then a hike in the woods. Perhaps a movie, or a bath. Oh, and planning would be thrown into there too ;). All of this would be done with quiet as my Friend.

My other day would look like this: I would spend the day with those who, by God’s willing, have made me a Mother. We would go to the park, perhaps ride bikes along the Swamp Rabbit Trail. Eat ice cream. Read books. Run through a sprinkler. The whole time spent in wonder of the fact that God made me a Mother to these 4 precious little people, who, are currently outside playing very quietly. That means I need to go investigate!

What would your perfect Mother’s Day look like?

Have a wonderful Mother’s Day and enjoy your kids through the quiet and the chaos.

Last week I wrote about the fear of hospitality – the fear of opening up my home.

But it happened – (in)RL took place among the peeling paint and holes in the ceiling. And, you know what? It was GOOD. Community and hospitality, they were good.

Nine ladies gathered together for food and relationship building. We connected over the stories of women brave enough to share their hearts wth us. We talked about food, kids, gardening, and raising chickens in our backyards. We decorated journals to record those future stories that God will give us – those stories He’ll use to reveal His working in us.

I was afraid. Afraid of judgment, remarks falling flat, and the feeling of not enough. But none of that came.

This year I turn 35. And only in the last 5 years have I truly had community. I’m finally understanding that I’m not the only one who wants and needs a safe place to tell their story. We all want a haven of friendship. We all need a place, a friend, that will love us through the ugly times.

Community, and even more, hospitality isn’t so scary now. The desire for connecting and the fear of ‘not enough’ will always be in conflict. But, God gives the strength to fight the fear so we can be that safe haven of friendship that He intends us to be for each other.

Hospitality – like a four-letter word that strikes fear into my heart.

I’ll do most anything for you – Clean your house, bring you supper, watch your kids. But opening up my home is rather scary – the last thing I’d want to do.

Can I tell you something? It’s because I’m ashamed. Ashamed of my home and what you may think of me and my husband. Will you question our worth because of the exposed walls and holes in the ceiling? Will you question if I’m a good mother because of the peeling paint and the paper wall? Will you doubt my husband’s ability to provide because of the plastic table where we eat?

In(RL) is coming up in a few short days and I am thrilled! This is the second year I’ve hosted. Last year we met in a local coffee shop. This year it’ll be at my house.

God is using this meet-up to remove the fear of hospitality. The greater purpose here is to minister to others, not fear what they’ll think about me.

Did you notice the difference in those two sentences? The first focused on others. The second on me.

The fear is legitimate – the shame as well. But those things need to be given to the Father. How many opportunities to love on others have I missed over the years because I’ve held those burdens close?

This may always be a struggle. But I’m learning to slowly unfurl my fingers, let go of the burdens, and rest in Christ.

Praying that you will do the same, with whatever your clasping. Let it go.

To register for in(RL) and to see what all the hub-bub is about, head over to                (in)courage. We would love to have you join us as we share out stories.

Everyone’s story matters.

It’s spring here in South Carolina and the warm weather has moved in to stay it seems. Yesterday afternoon, while I was hanging laundry in our back yard, I witnessed an amazing event.

My 6- year old son, was marrying my 4-year old daughter. And these are the vows that he made to her:

“I will never leave you.

I will stay with you forever.

I will love you forever.”

How is it, that my boy, just getting out of the baby stage, knows what it means to be married? To commit one’s life to another? The vows were so simple yet encapsulate all the flowery self-written and traditional vows that are spoken. Maybe just maybe, my husband and I, in our sin-tainted, bumbling, grace-drenched way, have conveyed to him the raw meaning of a marriage commitment.

And then I think, isn’t that what Christ says to us:

” I will never leave you.

I will stay with you forever.

I will love you forever.”

 We, the church, are His bride and He has whispered these words to us throughout His Word.