To the Mom whose day is water-marked with names

Published on by Danielle Category: Family Life

Dear Sister,

We’re kin, did you know that? The experiences of our lives have made us so. We may have never met, but here we are – family forged by life.

There is something that I’ve been wanting to tell you – take heart – you are not alone. Your work has worth even though the sweeping and dishes don’t seem like much. You are daily creating order out of chaos, working to make someplace beautiful for those you love.

Please don’t get discouraged when you read what others have done on Facebook or see what others have created on Pinterest.

There have been times that I’ve read the list of things accomplished and how their child slept extra long that day. And, all I’ve done are the breakfast dishes and a load of laundry.

But everyone’s life is different and trying to compare the incomparable will kill us. This is something that I wish that someone had told me. And, I say this as if the lesson has been learned but it hasn’t yet. It is still something that God has to remind me of on a regular basis.

We have to look at our ‘to-do’ lists  and realize that there are names watermarked on the page. You didn’t ‘just’ do that load of laundry. You made meals, perhaps taught school, read books, assisted with shoes, gave hugs and kisses, found the missing blanket –

you loved

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Why Your Weirdness is Wonderful, Book Review

Published on by Danielle Category: Everyday Living, Random Musings

Quirks. We all have them. Some of us like to be alone. Some of us like the smell of cap guns. Others love being in the limelight. Sometimes these can be seen as a blessing but often times we see them as more of a burden. And we desperately try to hide them – acting like something we aren’t.

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Laurie Wallin has recently published a book titled “Why Your Weirdness is Wonderful” and I have had the privilege to be on her launch team. Let me just say, this book is awesome!  Practically speaking, this book is divided up into several parts made up of relatively short chapters, that take you deeper into discovering how your quirks can make up a beautiful picture instead of an awful mess.

First, Laurie takes you through listing your quirks and seeing how these might actually be strengths instead of weaknesses. She helps you see through each chapter how your quirks, in reality your strengths, can work together to accomplish what God has planned for you.

    My quirks, preferences, strengths and challenges, it became clear, had all been one huge becoming.      Each revealed parts of God’s design in me―for me―and it all mattered.                                                            Just as every part matters in yours. – Laurie Wallin

Let that sink in. Every. Part. Matters. That was astounding to me and I hope that as you read this book it will be astounding to you as well.

She also helps you to see what she calls the “life” side and “dark” sides of our quirks. In one of her interview questions, Laurie explains it in the following way.

 In the book you talk about the dark sides and positive sides of our quirks. Could you give a few examples for readers?
As a Star Wars fan, I’ve always related to the whole Dark Side, Light Side (or, as I call it in the book, Life Side) idea. God invests tendencies in us, and we either love Him and others with them (reveal their Life Sides) or we live from fear (Dark Sides). The most common struggle strengths I hear about from people are tendencies to overthink things, be too sensitive, worry too much, argue too much, or be controlling. There are a lot of possible strengths hiding in these Dark Sides, and maybe they come from different strengths in different situations. For example, overthinking can be the Dark Side of being analytical, an achiever, someone who is contextual and sees connections between anything done or said now, and what it will effect. Being overly sensitive can be the Dark Side of empathetic, compassionate, or spiritually discerning individuals. Worrying too much is the fear-driven Dark Side of many prayer warriors I know. It’s not an exact science, but the important thing is to allow the question—to stop fighting who we are long enough to let God show us what is possible in us right then.

I don’t’ want to give the whole book away, so I’ll leave it at that. I do want to say though, that if this is something that you’ve struggled with, wondering where all those idiosyncrasies fit in, well, this book will definitely help. It certainly gave this Weirdo the confidence to live what God has called me to do, and I know Laurie’s words can do the same for you.

To connect with Laurie visit www.lauriewallin.com.

To order Laurie’s book, “Why Your Weirdness is Wonderful” visit Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or CBD.

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Fear of Worship – Thoughts from a Recovering Fundamentalist

Published on by Danielle Category: Thoughts from a Recovering Fundamentalist

Every night before my boys go to sleep we have prayer – “little prayer” as they like to call it. I pray first and they say theirs. I noticed that they repeated some of the phrases I used and copied the references to the Father. They are learning to pray through my prayers – a very sobering thought indeed.

And today I realized again that they are learning something else from us – how to worship our King.

I stood in Sunday service singing and watching others praise the Lord with arms raised. They were lifting holy hands to the Lord in worship.

And, as I looked around I did a double take because beside a man with hand held high, was a child lifting his hand in worship. Right then I knew something deep in my heart –  that was what I wanted for my children. I want them to have the freedom to worship their King.

Can I tell you something? I still don’t have that freedom – fear still holds me back. Lifting our hands wasn’t part of our worship growing up. You didn’t get excited when you sang because we didn’t want to be ‘like the Pentecostals’. But really, what is so horribly sinful about getting excited when we sing about the Glory of the Father? He is our Creator and He saved our sorry souls – that in and of itself makes me want shout Hallelujah with the best of them.

Just as we teach our children when we pray, we teach them how to worship when we sing.

This scares me because I know that in order for them to learn how to worship freely, I must be free of the fear that restrains me.

We are teaching our children everyday how to pray, worship, praise, sing. Know that I am praying for you as you undertake this weighty task. God’s grace is sufficient though, and His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

This is the second installment in the series “Thoughts from a Recovering Fundamentalist” Please feel free to comment or relate your experiences.

 

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An Open Letter to my Inner-Critic

Published on by Danielle Category: Random Musings

Today I’m linking up with the girls over in the in(courage) Writers Group. We’ve been given an assignment to write an open letter to our inner critic.

Dear Shadow,

I’ve known you for awhile now, really my whole life. You’ve sat next to me on several occasions, whispering criticisms in my ear. You’ve never held my hand as the Encourager does, but have picked and hissed. You’ve declared me unfit, unworthy, and just plain un-. You were there on the playground when you convinced me that my clothes weren’t good enough. You were there in high school when you told me I was awkward and not pretty. You’ve stood beside me as I’ve fumbled through adult-hood and stood next to me on the threshold of motherhood. Always whispering why I can’t.

On the heels of thoughts to encourage others, you come in with reasons why those encouraging words won’t matter. Then you tell me, that I’m nobody – who would want to listen to me anyway. You make me question the gifts God has given. In fact you had me believing for the longest time that I was one who God hadn’t bestowed any gifts upon.

But this is changing now. You can’t make me feel twelve again. You can’t make me feel like I don’t have anything to offer. And do you know why? Because I have a Savior who knows my name. I’m a child of the King and He says I have value and worth. He has given me permission to pray for others and to exercise that gift of encouragement that He has placed on me.

As of today I’m ending our relationship and fully intend to no longer indulge in pity parties. You’ve always been the best party planner, by the way.

So, with pen in hand, I will write to build others up. From now on I’ll be hiding His words in my heart, not yours.

Sincerely,

Danielle

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Actively Waiting

Published on by Danielle Category: Everyday Living

This post was written last spring but is still highly applicable. We are always waiting on something, but it is what we do while we wait that counts. I hope that this is an encouragement to you.

Recently I read an article by Paul Tripp titled “God’s Will for Your Wait”. The title grabbed my attention because as of late I’ve felt like I’ve been in a holding pattern, waiting for God to give some direction.

For 3 years now I’ve been a consultant with a company called Blessings Unlimited. It’s had its ups and downs like any business venture will, but for the most part I knew where I was headed with it, or at least where I wanted it to go. Lately, I haven’t been feeling this so much. My home life responsibilities are ever growing what with trying to perfect the art of homemaking, figuring out what life looks like for our family, and now the venture of homeschooling a 1st grader and a kindergartner. Throw in a preschooler and toddler and this mama is spinning.

I had been fretting, constantly asking God what He wanted me to do. I found myself depressed and confused. I would often check FB to see what was happening on my team’s page, who was going to national conference and wondering how I could get there too. I was an awful, depressed, unproductive, mess.

After reading Paul Tripp’s message, God convicted me of what I was doing – accomplishing nothing, missing the life that I was leading right now, and making my family miserable in the process. One of the reflection questions that he gives at the end of his article is

“Has the way you wait enabled you to reach out and minister to others better? Or has it simply drawn you deeply into the claustrophobic drama of your own waiting?”

When I read this, I had to stop and seriously evaluate these last several weeks because that sounded just like what I was experiencing and it wasn’t good.

So, I’ve made a decision, with God’s grace, of course. I’m not going to passively wait and see what happens, letting life pass me by. God may not have a place for me anymore at Blessings Unlimited, but that doesn’t mean that life is over. There are so many projects and interests that I’ve let go by the wayside because I’ve been waiting on this one thing.

So, I’m going to pick up my copy of ‘One Thousand Gifts’ and finish it this summer. I’m going to finish the dresser I started to paint, start this blog that I’ve been fantasizing about, finish my jewelry holder …. well, you get the picture. I’m going to start reveling in life instead of self-pity, ’cause no one wants to come to that party.

 

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Five Minute Friday – Crowd

Published on by Danielle Category: Random Musings

I sit on the couch for the umpteenth time, reading to the crowd. They are squirming, making noises with their teeth, pulling at their siblings, touching my glasses, and yet I still yearn to read to these little people. I found some old books the other day in a box in the corner of the attic. They are books from my childhood, old friends that brought me through many a lonely day. Charlotte’s Web, 101 Dalmatians, The Prince and Pauper, to name a few. And I want to introduce my children to these old friends of mine.

So, I will head to the couch again this afternoon, and open the book to read about Zuckerman’s Famous Pig. Though a headache will come from the crowd pressing in, I will resolve to read on, because there is magic in books. The wonder that can happen when a page is turned is palpable and I want them to feel it. I want them to be in awe of the words and where they can take you – the friends you can meet. Hopefully they’ll feel the same one day, only their memories will be filled with a little more joy, and they’ll remember how we crowded together to travel to far of places.

 

Five Minute Friday

Words of Grace

Published on by Danielle Category: Family Life

Today I am continuing my reading through Ephesians. Recently we studied this at church and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Can I tell you a secret? I have never studied a book as it was being preached. I’ve never been interested enough, but God is doing a work and I am excited to study His Word. I’m excited to study Jesus, because isn’t He the Word become flesh?

So, my reading brought me to chapter 4, and if you are familiar with this passage it is starting the portion of the book that is dealing with relationships. And, if you aren’t familiar with Ephesians, please go read it. Start at the beginning. There is so much amazing truth to meditate on. Trust me, it’s good to jump in mid-read, but the reading will be all the richer if you take the time.

The verse that stuck out to me today is verse 29,

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth

 but that which is good for the use of building up,

that it might minister grace to the hearer.” 

 I know this verse. I’ve had it memorized since a child. But it never ceases to cut me to the quick. Because you see, I try to do this with my husband, my friends, and even strangers. But a lot of times, I forget that my children need this from me more than most. 

How many times do I offer them a sharp word instead of one softened by love? How many times do I forget that they are just being childish and scold them instead of hug them. So, today I am praying that God will further work in my heart to build these little people up and not tear them down.

 Will you share your heart with me? How do you pour words of grace, words that build up, onto your children?

Five Minute Friday – Willing

Published on by Danielle Category: Random Musings

Am I willing? That is a huge question to ask. Willing to do what? Whatever God asks, comes the quiet answer. I’ve pondered the concept of the God-sized Dream for the last several months, and only recently have come to wonder what that really looks like. At first glance it means something really big and grand. God is huge, isn’t He? Greater than we can ever comprehend, so a dream of His magnitude has to match that – it has to be big. but, I don’t think so anymore.

 You see, I’ve been thinking about what that dream could look like for each of us. What if that God-sized dream was really about what He has for us and not for what we want for ourselves? And, are we willing to do that. Are we willing to fulfill that dream that says “love your neighbor as yourself”? Am I willing to be okay with  the possibility that I may never meet the girls at the Mercy House and tell them that I’ve prayed for them for years? Am  willing to fulfill that commandment if it just means taking my unemployed neighbor a loaf of bread? Am I willing to let go of the desire to be known by others and rest in the fact that He knows me and calls me Child?

 He’s causing a shift in my thinking – He’s reworking my definition of a God-sized dream. And, yes, Lord, I’m willing.

Five Minute Friday

A Recovering Fundamentalist

Published on by Danielle Category: Random Musings, Thoughts from a Recovering Fundamentalist

This post is the first in a series titled “Thoughts from a Recovering Fundamentalist – Grace vs. Legalism”.  Please feel free to comment especially if you’ve ever experienced something similar.

 

Today I was given a new label “Recovering Fundamentalist”. We recently changed churches in the last year, from a non-denominational, but very traditional church to a more modern church. Our previous church was still very much like what my husband and I grew up in, though we did feel rather rebellious attending a non-denominational church, with an elder board, of all things.  We were veering away from what was ‘right’.

God grew us there though and taught us about His Sovereignty, His Grace, His choosing us, and how ultimately is is all done for the Glory of the Father. EVERYTHING. We grew up with ‘Why did Christ die on the cross? Because He loved us!’ And, yes, that’s true, but the bigger answer to the ‘why’ is because of the Glory of the Father. I still don’t quite understand, but just rehearsing this thought brings tears to my eyes and makes me want to fall on my face in humility, awe, and wonder of the God who created me and quickened me to life.

Over the past couple of years we’ve been feeling a need for change, because even though God was fixing the broken teaching we’d been brought up with, there was still something wrong. Very few people, that I could see, were real. We all put on our best clothes and best faces and did church. I never felt as if we went to worship, we just went to say that we went. Prayer requests would be given and I wondered how off axis we’d be rocked if I stood up and asked for prayer. Not for illness but because of sin. I can just hear the crickets now – “Hi, my name is Danielle and I have a problem with anger, impatience, pride, and lust”.

 We didn’t act like the broken sinners Jesus had redeemed, but like people who didn’t have any problems.

So we left and started attending this different church. And, for the first time in a really long time, I felt like I could breathe. People were actually excited to be singing! They were excited to worship our King. And to top it off, they were admitting their sin struggles. I had never seen that in all my years of attending church. I’d never known anyone to admit to any sin after they’d been saved.

As beautiful as all of this was it scared me to death because eventually, my sin would have to be revealed and dealt with. (And just so you know, something that has taken me a long time to learn is that Me, Myself, and I, do not a body of believers make.) This admitting my sin thing was completely foreign to me. We had learned to judge others and thank God we weren’t like ‘them’. So, in my mind, if I revealed sin issues, I was putting myself out there to be judged, because isn’t that what ‘good’ Christians do, judge each other? And that thought made me want to crawl out of my skin. It made me weep.

I don’t know much about addiction, but I do know that if you’re addicted to something you keep going back to it. When you try to give it up, your given the label Recovering _______.  So, to be labeled a ‘Recovering Fundamentalist’ seems rather accurate. And like any recovering addict there are times that I return to my old habits, the incorrect thought patterns, the pride, the judgement, the sin. I used to thank God that I didn’t have the sin baggage that some people have to deal with. But I wonder if ‘church’ baggage is just as difficult.

But God’s grace is sufficient, isn’t it ? It’s sufficient even for a Recovering Fundamentalist.

 

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